The Art and Habit of Detachment

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From my own experience, when the inner judge and critic is around, the things I want most will not find their way to me and seem to, in fact, become worse, bigger and/or more annoying.

It wasn’t until I understood how to DETACH from the inner critic that my inner Self/Spirit could do it’s thing, which is to shepherd my wants, dreams and desires to me.  My inner critic blocks. My inner Self allows me to move in the direction of my vision, dreams and wants.

Sound simple?  That depends on you and how you approach it.   The ticket for me is awareness. When I observe my habits of self talk, I can then begin to dismantle and detach like leaves detaching from the trees in autumn.

The practice goes like this:

– detachment
– observation
– meditation
– awareness in the moment the inner critic speaks up
– compassion for your whole self as you become aware

Since Autumn has arrived, I’ve been using it as a vehicle to practice any or all of the practices listed above. My husband has been teasing about my “compulsion” for going outside to sweep or rake up the leaves because there are so many  more to come down.  What he does not realize is that I am intentional about these leaf sessions. I call it Leaf Sweeping Therapy (LST).  And there are so many benefits:

  •  LST gets me out into the fresh air and sunshine.  Good for the skin, lungs and brain.
  • And then I get to breathe in the wonderful scents of autumn. Aromatherapy.
  • The motion of sweeping gets my blood flowing (good for the heart)
  • Sweeping relaxes me and puts  me in the present (in tune with my Spirit instead of my Ego)
  • It feels like a walking (sweeping) meditation which sets me up for receiving insights and intuitive, creative ideas.

I spend about 15 to 20 minutes to sweep and then I can go back to my desk feeling very refreshed.

If my Ego were in the mix, it would judge the time I take away from my desk and thoughts about what to make for dinner, do I need to make a quick run to the grocery store?, why didn’t I exercise longer this morning, I’ll be sorry for having that ice cream last night, etc, etc etc and before I know it, I cannot get my arms around what I’m doing at my desk for my clients or employer.

Once I unhook from that kind of nonsense, I became a much happier, more productive person. The practice has served me so well, that I’m curious to see how it looks when there are no more leaves to sweep.  I know I can shovel snow in the winter but how about the spring and summer?  Stay tuned and find out.

In the meanwhile, how do you detach? What do you notice when you do?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I live in a wonderful old house and, after many exterior upgrades and replacements, it was finally time for a fun interior renovation. The plans and the contractor were in place and I was very excited. Everything in the space had to be cleared which included my office, dense with file cabinets. My home was already full to the brim; 20 years of accumulation plus additional influx after cleaning out my childhood home where my parents had lived for 50 years. The task ahead felt daunting, to say the least. I needed a ‘thinking partner’, and immediately contacted Lee. What I love about working with Lee is how she blends her professional coaching skills with her expertise in the home furnishings industry; they are equally valuable in this arena. Lee was creative, caring, and curious when it came to assessing my situation and recommending options. Before taking any action, Lee looked at every room in my home, while finding out what mattered most to me through her gentle, supportive, and assuring process. I felt confident in Lee’s guidance. In order to ‘clear some space’, we identified categories that would make the biggest impact; clothing and bedding were the first targets. Lee worked side-by-side with me, asking questions and making observations, all of which helped me to let go of items. At the end of the session, there was an enormous amount of “stuff” in my car, ready for donation. I also had a set of questions to ask myself when working alone between sessions. What a great feeling to have made significant progress in one session! It is that great feeling that spurs continuing action. Lee is masterful in anchoring that feeling through the combination of ‘hands on’ sessions and intermittent coaching sessions. Not only does the project at hand resolve itself, one develops the capacity to continue ‘clearing’ what is no longer desired; physical “stuff”, extra body pounds, old thoughts. Lee makes the process of ‘letting go’ a pleasure. - Patty Gump, Newburyport, MA
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