Paula, a middle manager, felt that she was constantly being sabotaged. She felt defeated.
So Paula found me one day when she “wasn’t willing to take it anymore.”
That was step one of a changing equation.
Her boss was a hot head. But they had been good friends prior to their working relationship, which seemed to have ruined their social one.
Paula, to her credit, wanted to learn how to communicate with her boss. Truth be told, it took us nearly three months for her to realize that she wasn’t going to change him.
So I worked with Paula, through life coaching, to change what she did have control over and find ways of working that would bring more peace into her life.
One important way that Paula changed was to stick to politically correct protocol. Instead of engaging or giving her opinions, Paula would report just the facts to her boss.
When Paula removed herself personally from the situation, she stopped giving Hot Head her energy. She stopped investing any emotional energy in him.
Once the friend equation was removed, everything became much clearer. Paula saw where she had perpetuated the conflict and, now, how and when she could stop reacting and take a step or two back.
Paula got to neutral.
Neutral was a new concept to Paula, as it would be for many of us. It took her a while to understand it. And when Paula “got it,” she really got it! And she was able to apply this incredibly powerful strategy to other areas of her life.
Paula and I worked together for just over a year. Quite an investment for a reward that will last her the rest of her life.